For anyone in a codependent relationship, journaling is a must. I’m not talking about detailing the fights you had with your alcoholic or keeping count of the number of beer cans you found in the trash from the night before. I’m talking about letting go of your anger and working out your demons.

Journaling can enrich your life as you let go of doubts and fears and open you up to new possibilities you would have never dreamed of.

I began a diary when I was a sophomore in high school and have continued off and on for over 45 years. Through journaling I have released self-doubt and old hurts. I wrote my book “What’s Love Got to Do With It: Excruciating Lessons on My Path to Enlightenment” from all those years of journals.

When I journaled when I was in these toxic relationships, I would rip through the pages with my pen because I was so mad.  Other pages showed tear stains.  The whole intention is to get the anger at your alcoholic out of you and on to the page.  Don’t go back and read any of it or you take it on again– just let it out and let it go and keep on writing. 

There are many kinds of journals. My “Daily Dumping Journal” is my favorite. It’s the best kind of journaling to do when you are dealing with an alcoholic or drug addict. I’d dump all of the thoughts that were in my head out onto paper so I’d be able to think clearer. There’s something very freeing about this. When you have anger all bottled up inside of you, you’re the one being affected.

A Prayer Journal is great to write affirmations and prayers that help you gain solace and hope. 

When I taught my Journaling to Sanity class I realized why some people don’t commit to journaling for one reason or another, so I came up with these rules:

• Write like no one will ever read it and make sure they won’t—hide it! I’ve hidden mine under the mattress in the guest room, I’ve turned it backward on a bookshelf or in the laundry basket where I was certain no one would find it.
• Select a journal that fits you. For years, I couldn’t bear to mess up those pretty little journals with the drivel I was writing so I wrote in spiral notebooks.
• Journal at a time that feels right for you. I like mornings because as I journal I am praying. Some people prefer evenings.
• Make a commitment to write at least three pages. It may end up being your grocery list or phone calls you need to make, but whatever you write will benefit you because it clears your mind for creative inspiration and divine guidance to flow to you.

Try journaling for three weeks and see what happens in your life. You’ll be surprised at how much anger and other feelings you’ve been holding onto get released.  I know will find the joy I have found from journaling as long as you give it a chance. It’s not easy living with an alcoholic or addict. I really believe you will find sanity from your crazy codependent life like I have. Happy journaling!!

Please share your comments below about how you feel about journaling.